we were both hunting dick last night. it ended terribly for both of us.
It was like a Michael Bay sized explosion located in my pussy.
I feel like I am becoming dumber sitting here in class than I would be sitting on the couch smoking weed.
No, I'm never going to get a job bc I don't know anything about public relations except that Chris Crocker wants everyone to leave Britney alone.
okay im going to go eat, shower and find underwear... call if you want.... but ill be listenig to glee VERY loudly.
All you kept saying was "my dick ALWAYS causes problems".
just gave another girl i passed on the walk of shame a high five
I am seriously considering thanking Macallan 18 in my thesis acknowledgments.
The assistant vp has a bottle of wine on his desk & I have a feeling my boobs will be making an appearance today.
I had a dream about masturbating with toys I can't afford.
My sex life and finances are equally in shambles.
sex in a tree stand. check.
you lucky bastard
I'd say things got weird when I started doing lines of molly in the box.
The family next to you was not pleased
You brought a jar of mayonnaise to bed. It doesn't get any worse than that.
I just put vagisil on my bug bites how do you think my morning is going
if people come over to pregame will you hide my Oreos
Randomize
