It had been so long since my last time that it was easily a double helping of stomach pancakes. I think she was mildly impressed.
Just found out I have to work new year's eve. It's like one final 'fuck you' from 2009.
i just used shampoo as lube. why? because i'm worth it.
the girl I was having sex with just mumbled victory for msu during sex. i love basketball season
When I was in the bathroom and wiped with a paper towel I found in the trashcan, I realized that this might be the reason I have a yeast infection.
Somewhere along the night we ended up at a food lion giving jello shots to high school girls.
Spilled red wine all over my bed. This has to be the fiftieth time ive refused to fall asleep without a drink in my hand
Tell Taylor to rock on. Tell her she is so beautiful that the sun shines down on her face and shows her beauty. Tell her to live on, like Martin Luther King. He'll never die. He's living his dreams.
did you know the cops in wilco have clean up kits in their cars for when people puke in them? i found this out this morning. i'm finishing paperwork now. come get me plz?
I think it's gonna be hard to find a guy that won't take my consistent drinking as alcoholism
Idk how much of a virgin he is but I'm tryna find out.
There's glitter all over his bed from my Pink VS panties... I think I might invest in similar styles as a way of marking my territory just incase.
Its the damn oven. I think it wants to eat me.
totally just bought a bottle of gin with nothing but change
don't ever let anyone tell you that youre not 100% class
Car sex in a public place. Boo ya.
Randomize
