if she mentions anything about chili and my phone, just go with it
Tidal wave of highness just hit. Find shelter and catnip. gloves. zebra striped car washes.
u kept pointing at random guys and making quacking or mooing sounds.
his apartment was in a funeral home, walk of shamed through a visiation in the skankiest outfit i own
do you think a sharp knife would stab through a cheese suit?
The guy at the bar repeatedly told us he was an off duty cop from out of town, that to normal people would be the time where you stop asking him to smoke a blunt with us
I'll get you through man, I'll be your fairy godmother with better prescription drugs
we talked about the guy being eaten by the anaconda.. Then I proceeded to blow him
Dry heaving on campus is my new low. Also, go pats
Currently googling hangover cures, which looks a lot like working from the perspective of my boss.
He gets married Father's Day weekend and I just found out I'm pregnant. What do I do?
So apparently being drunk at work isn't allowed.. who knew?
We were trying to organize all the customers to hold a window pickle race. as of 10:37 pm last night we are no longer allowed in our McDonalds.
You mentioned his name and i threw up a little.
Spotify says I’m in the top 1% of Indigo Girls fans worldwide. Didn’t know I would peak this early.
Aren’t you trying to seem...less lesbian?
Randomize
