I'm not upset with you; I'm upset with Fox News.
I just want a better ending for myself. Not walking around with one sock on and my bush hanging out.
As long as you don't die I'm in full support of your drinking decisions
going to a night class in lingerie so i can quickly go to his house after.
I just got a reminder alert on my phone for an event I titled "Bradley getting stupid high with me in bed." I assume we planned this during the party. I'm down if you are.
So apparently we wrote "Lube Shopping" in Paula's diary on every friday for the rest on the year....
In honor of today being Sunday I am day drinking and watching Grey's Anatomy all day. ALL DAY.
You kept saying "this bitch", mumbled incoherently for like 5 minutes, took a shot, and kept going.
Is she okay?
She may want to issue revenge punches, but medically fine.
The amount of drunk I'm going to get tonight will be somewhere between Jim lahey and bojack horseman
I shotgunned a beer immediately puked and rallied. And by rallied I mean had sex in the bathroom after he held my hair.
What a gentleman.
This is either the best idea i've ever had or the worst. stay tuned.
When your grandma invites you to a sweet girls' Valentine's dinner with your mom and sister, but you have to decline because you're trying to get two dudes to rail you at once...
Last time I was blackout at Cowbells I was running around screaming “WHERES THE BLOOOWWWW”
Soooo you're telling me you support us groom's men giving lap dances to willing patrons?
Randomize
