wtf someone played my fucking brickbreaker games and lost i had ten fucking lives. ughhh
maybe you did when you were drunk
no way, i wasn't THAT drunk.
I think they gave out some kind of ugly girl scholarship I don't know about...
I go to guys houses late at night, have a little fun, come back by dawn having made their life a little bit better. I am the official blow job fairy.
I think I'm going to inject the gummy vitamins with vodka
I'm glad you're using your medical degree for some good for once
Why did 20 jello shots in a row sound like a good idea last night?
I love you more with every blowjob.
You should write for Hallmark.
Cops just came and got two guys out of my class. I can't do college. Seriously cannot rage at this school anymore.
Im going in through the window and borrowing her dog. Dont worry ive done this before. we have an agreement.
When did we convert life to cartoon?
He always finds the good stuff. He's like a truffle pig for bud.
Sexting across continents is really a perfect example of how far technology has come.
We need to make tonight low-budget
Is this your way of suggesting flasks?
Chasing my kid around a 30' jungle gym was not how I envisioned spending the day off work to recover from a vasectomy.
I just need you to appreciate that this is the first time I've ever been cut off and it's at an airport bar in Philly before 1 o'clock in the afternoon.
Oh. My. God. It is NOT okay to drink Johnny Walker when there is no Jameson. My skull is eating my brain.
Randomize
