He had an itunes playlist named "def not Glee season 1" which contained all of Glee season 1
ol I'll be okay, it's only a christmas party so the worst that could happen is I end up playing madden naked again
In Denver there are more bars per capita than any other city also the healthiest city. That means lots of drunk girls and no fatties.
And it was confirmed to me that I did in fact cut my girlfriend out of her dress with my sword.
We had to coat check the pizza.
You called me at 2am singing 'happy birthday' while screaming 'I fucking love you' verses, all while eating a burrito and taking a piss off your apartment balcony
Yeah I know, the people below me already told me
Woke up this morning buried in a mountain of chex mix and bubble wrap. We must have been doing something great last night
A beef tasting is not what I needed while hungover
In last nights drunken stupor i apparently purchased a luxury travel package for two to Australia. So uh...get a passport and clear your schedule for next month
You could woo kevin with a boquet of breakfast burritos. He loves those burritos. You could use the hot sauce packets like babies breathe
My phone just said I texted someone at 430a and said let's fight. Then I texted them an hour later and said thanks.
You know the party's good when you say "Never have I ever caused an emergency landing" and someone drinks
I met his parents. We played twister. My boob popped out.
I've seriously never been more thankful for marijuana and my resting bitchface.
She's celebrating a tinder-match-aversary and I'm not about that.
Randomize
