I just peed in my kitchenbs sinlk. New low- maybe. am i embarrassed? Not in the least
I fell asleep with crest white strips on and ate one...
Also just realized how inappropriate it looks to other drivers to finish bottles of cheap champagne at stoplights
whoever threw up in my shampooo bottle is totally getting defriended on facebook.
i tried to stop you. you just kept saying your split ends needed punishment.
I joined a mariachi band. they gave me a guitar because i told them i could play. It actually turned out ok
They kicked me out of the mariachi band. Turns out I'm not that good
that girl from work that wants to bone me just said 'the last time i went this long without sex was in jail'. sup, red flag
Complete silence. Background Willy Wonka music. An empty back of Lay's BBQ chips. These are the ingredients for an extreme acid trip.
Tinkerbell just flew up to me and tickled my balls. What the fuck did we smoke?
I just pulled a piece of cookie out of my bra in the middle of class. I'm forever alone.
Next time we smoke don't let me talk. I just said something and it sounded like I was speaking in hashtag.
Note to self: don't practice nerdy white girl dance choreography in the company bathrooms no matter how nice the huge mirrors and lighting are.
I stood in my living room with two beers in my hand asking these said beers if they were going to drink each other. I then insisted that I would drink them and chugged both. Happy Halloween.
Is a swingers hotel appropriate for an anniversary?
You didn't throw up on me, you threw up on yourself and then tried to give me a hug
She said cowgirls can can pee standing up and proceeded to pull up her dress and drop her underwear.
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