How'd it feel making her break her religion?
You remember correctly you did get a golf cart ride out but it wasnt because you were special. You were so smashed you were screaming tiger at random golfers in the middle of there backswing.
I just realized that two weekends in a row we ended up in a bathroom with two different boys asking us for a threesome. does this happen to everyone?
I hope the walls stop moving before my manager notices that i'm still drunk.
We lost track of him for only 10 min and he gets kicked out for sneaking into the kitchen and trying to operate the deep fryer.
Oh my god I peed in a park last night and then tried to set off fireworks with a group of middle-aged men
I'm just walking around Lowe's groping the carpets....
You don't know commitment until you try and waterproof a non-waterproof vibrator
I can't stop drooling did you spike my drink?
Sobered up midsex and just went with it. After he tried cuddling and I awkwardly rolled out of the bed to find someone on the floor, apparently it was his room so he got to listen.
Btw there's a hedgehog in my room. Don't get it high
Took an adderall for the first time in a few weeks. Spent 45 minutes peeling an orange TO PERFECTION.
First time a guy goes down on me and his dog had its head on my knee the whole time. I swear it was judging me.
I was so drunk I got motion sickness from sex.
I am going to constantly be reminded of you for the next couple of days because of how sore my vagina is. It's just the price I have to pay.
Randomize
