Hard rock hotel, wtf why am i still out, im gonna fuk 5 chix 2nite .maybe
According to Glamour magazine, experiencing sexual pleasure helps you live longer. I am dying an early death.
we ended up doing shots out of those medicine cups..swine flu finally did something good for me
i just licked my manager on accident and i'm freaking out
I can do it, this is my punishment and I will accept it, plus id like to see the look on peoples faces when I throw up on them
I don't go on dates. I watch tv and play with dicks. dinner is a situation.
Mission get my tooth back and find a new dick to ride starts after i sleep for the first time in 2 days.
I just found a casserole dish in my oven filled with broken glass, blood, and chopsticks. And the REALLY fucked up thing is that finding it answered more questions than it raised.
I don't see how you can turn down creme brulee and orgasms
I got laid while wearing a shirt with a picture with my little brother deep throating a banana on it.
Would it be wildly inappropriate for me to tailgate a Jonas brothers concert?
Just got offered bathroom sex. I've never been more flattered.
There was a comma in between her and dick. I was calling you a dick. Jesus.
i almost got into an argument defending my life choices with a guinea pig eating chocolate cake at 4am
Your life is a soap opera of great sex, cats, and booze.
Randomize
