just won 30 on black! Ok adicteddd! Never coming back gqmbeqing is easy.
now my debit card is betting 1k whoops. im gongk eh be rich!!!
whoops didnt work. think the gambeli mashine is busters!! now im betting 2k?! bad idea?
Yep Great. Apparently I didn't just say things once that night. Drink. Yell. Repeat.
U also mentioned u werent wearing any underwear hahahaha
I just followed up on a noise complaint...only to find 2 girls in bikinis covered in jello with beer cans everywhere. I couldn't bring myself to bust that party.
I want to be a cop.
but i got with him after midnight so its technically 2 days
and I'm going to name my autobiography "blow jobs with enthusiasm are the best"
I'm naming my autobiography "Reasons Not to Date Girls From Texas."
i have received so many congratulations texts this morning. sleeping with him really was a good decision.
Not sure if jager bombs can cure tuberculosis, but its a theory im testing as we speak
tell your freshman friends. will trade sexual favors for swipes. ive got dinner tomorrow open and lunch on wed
Completely smashed, masturbating to the view of the ocean. Family vacations are more tolerable than I thought
A guy with the name Pootie Tang winked st me and a guy that doesn't speak English messaged me. These are my choices?
She stopped laughing and kind of stared at the wall for a while. Then she did 3 somersaults and said she saw jesus. This weed is fucking fantastic.
i ended up eating cold sauceless spaghetti out of the container in the fridge with my hands.
Life is my bitch right now. The bouncers tried to carry me out of the club, but everyone thought I was crowd surfing so everyone carried me BACK IN. Winning as fuck.
That moment when you're in a room with 3 guys and know how big their dicks are. Then you are married to the one with the smallest dick.
You microwaved all of my silverware, I don't care if you spent all your money on tequila, you're paying for this.
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