"Monday" is guna come over...
but its Thursday?
yeah, but she cant make it.Monday can...so there ya go
Never fear I pulled out... she had "lies about taking birth control" written all over her
Just turned elections for the sorority into a drinking game. Right on.
Turned in a paper today on drug abuse. Chose to write about percocet. Just realized I started 2 sentences with "This amazing drug"
can't believe I ate straight coffee grounds to stay awake for that
Right now im sitting at home and all i can think about is im eating calories and i should be out drinking them.
You know you have a great job when you need a DD home from work at 6pm.
Trying to figure out when's a good time to take acid and not tell anyone and see how long it takes people to notice
I don't know which part of you thought this was funny but it's fucked up to wake up in that much fluff and now we don't have a couch. Fuck you.
They broke our car window and then wrote "great night" on the next
He started screaming "fuck me I'm Ryan Gosling" and proceeded to pick up the smallest guy at the party and carry him to bed.
So I got my junk pierced since we've fucked. You should get in on this.
Odd start to the day - the FBI just showed up at my apartment.
On a scale of "huh, that's interesting" to "holy porn stars, batman". How good?
Definitely closer to "holy porn stars, batman".
so how was it...?
sadly not as impressive as one might expect from a division one athlete. he lacked the stamina i had hoped for, and by lacked i do mean he fell asleep while he was still inside me. an epic wtf moment, i know.
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