She was so bad on top that i found myself watching a TV that wasn't even turned on
HAH. HARRY POTTER CASUAL CONVO HAS BEEN EXTENDED TO DISCUSSING WEATHER. SO PRO
I woke up with a new Tiffanys necklace on. I'm such a classy drunk.
Hey welcome to Rick's drunk text tree. Rick is drunk right now please respond with "shut up" to remove your name from this list. Thanks for playing.
Good call on the strip club last night. Everytime i smell some flowery candle or air freshener I get transported back to having my face firmly planted in Riah and Desire's tits.
You're welcome.
We need to play Chardee MacDennis. Contact me when you have an available date. This is not a question.
Yeah I don't remember why I went to the hospital though but I just called and they have my wallet
He hasn't responded, but he probably just jizzed in his shorts again, so I'll give him time.
Woke up the day after the party with a bruise on my stomach. Pretty sure my liver was trying to escape for fear of it's life.
If I had your job the next day id be on the news. And not the good news. Like fox & friends. Nancy grace would have my ass.
He said I took his samurai sword off his wall and proceeded to jump off his porch at people coming home from the bar.
You dove at him but passed out mid dive. Shame it wasnt a costume party your superman suit wouldve been clutch in the situation
I just remembered that before we left my house I vowed to stay fully clothed and I FAILED
My dick has been in way too much crazy the past 2+weeks, but hey it feels good to fuck consistently again
Christ, I'm so hungover I pretty positive I sent Luna to school with salsa instead of jelly on her sandwich.
Randomize
