Don't be mad at me. I know peeing in your drawer is 1 thing and peeing on you while you're sleeping is another, but im sorry..i love you
Signed everyone in my dorm up for free samples of astroglyde. Took me an hour. Happy new years!!!!!
Uh, do you remember who's thong is in my tree?
Drunk you is everything I aspire to be in life.
Also, upon examining the photos, I have concluded that you were the sloppiest drunk girl of the night. And that's saying something considering Hurricane Jessica was in town.
I hope you gays don't get too crazy after DOMA. Gay divorces aren't any better than straight ones.
Yeah play it cool maybe put in a kissy face though let him know you're giving an invitation for his dick
dude, my hangover is telling me there was tequila involved
So I woke up with a terribly bandaged finger an then discovered a pot of bloody onions on the stove.....who the fuck decided it was a good idea for me to try and cook
hi I'm Emily and I thoroughly enjoy getting minors hammered.. I'll start my AA intro just like that.
Her parents are celebrating she found someone so well endowed.
Will there be champagne when they see the pay check?
I got a snap of someone jumping off a light pole. Was that you? Please confirm or deny. #onWisconsin
Just put on slippers before underwear so you know where my priorities are
I knew you were on something when you said you were a puppy and you ate all the frosty Paws dog ice cream which says not for human consumption right on the side of it.
The day will come again young grasshopper. For now you must complete your training of patience and tongue biting
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