apparently you CAN get banned from Nascar.
dude, I'm watching paul blart mall cop. I have better things to do than listen to you whine about your recent divorce.
So I thought I was doing pretty good and then I sneezed and prematurely ejaculated...
Please dont jizz on my ds screen.
There is a newly found video on my phone of me following you to the bathroom to watch you throw up. sorry I didn't hold your hair
no more duck duck goose at the bar
French people screaming and throwing stuff out the window. We told the manager and he's pissed and going up there. This is gonna be like cops. Maybe better than cops.
He took shrooms and didn't want anyone to touch him. He kept saying he was a chip and he didn't want to break.
we used the fire extinguisher you had been cuddling with to decorate the cop car while they were inside arresting everyone
Good news! I don't have Hep C! Better news! I still hate you!
He made a playlist to use during sex...that ended with The Ultimate Warrior's entrance music.
I fell asleep with a half eating burrito in my hand and woke up to cat vomit with burrito in it.
i like that he makes me laugh. those are like my two favorite things. laughing and fucking.
Dude why is my bed and bedding wrapped in bubble wrap?
Cuz u wanted to insure u had a safe sleep
It's like his penis moved in and did some interior decorating without telling me first...
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