her vagina looked like a handful of raisins.
i don't care what she did to you. we are not having sex in front of your sister.
hey..i found a takeout box with a half-eaten hamburger in it, the box said to text this number if found...
i woke up to him dangling his cock in front of my face
he keeps trying to sext me and all I can do is respond with descriptions of what im eating.
He just referred to his foreskin as a snuggie. Help.
I have pictures of you scratching against the sliding glass door on your knees screaming how you felt like a lamb.
TACOBELL COOL RANCH TACOS MARCH 7TH. I think realistically that will be more like valentines day for us. Bc nothing says romance like tacobell.
Momentum is force x velocity. So therefore velocity is 0 - hammered, and force is ur legs locked up and ur face hits the ground.
I felt paralized they just wouldnt move. We need segways when were drunk cuz if we start to fall forward they well take off and save the fall.
Hey, scratch that. I've shit 8 times today. I don't have the energy to get laid so I cancelled my date.
I don't know how to reply to him. 'I'm glad the ecstasy my friend tricked you into taking wore off'...? It just doesn't seem sincere
You said, "I'll have this whole island inside of you by 6 AM. Just point out who you want and I'll make it happen."
So, I've discovered that I'm approximately 70% nicer to my mother when I've had an orgasm in the last 48 hours. It's science.
You gotta come over now. He is eating cupcakes while they are still in the foil.
is it sad that a disney movie is making me horny?
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