i wouldnt be suprised if in indian your name meant "walking lie"
I just woke up and realized I puked in my boxers WTF.
You stay classy.
The worst part was I forgot until I tried to put them on.
Well I'm glad to hear the fight wasnt over his small dick.
I woke up with my keys safelty pinned to my thong. It's gonna be a great day.
hey, sorry about all the butter. I thought it was gonna help.
I honestly didn't see the problem playing beer pong In the car on the road trip home.
I'm pretty sure whiskey overrules bulimia in the eyes of Texas boys
i dont even mind you always shaving my pubes when i pass out, i'm starting to find it liberating.
I just burped jalapeños and cum. That was the most disgusting thing ever.
She legitimately thought I was hiding in the fridge, then she checked the second one to be sure
I'm high and reading a Wikipedia article on circumcision procedure. Help.
I don't know what happened. His phone, shirt, shoes, and the condom wrapper are here but he isn't. I don't even know how to get a hold of him right now
Yeah. That's the shitty part. God, I don't want to be a step mom. Sure I'm great with kids, but I just want unlimited sex and not have to worry about making friends with a fucking 7 year old.
I just want you to know when I bang him in the back of my car later I'll have pony by ginuwine on repeat
He played with my nipples while singing "How great thou art"
Randomize
