oh, and bring over your fire extinguisher. we're gonna get the mailman again
All I remember is saying that "fire will make it all better"
Honestly, I don't care whether it was a guy or a girl. Best blowjob ever.
EW EW EW EW THAT PENIS BELONGS TO SOMEONE'S FATHER! THAT PENIS BELONGS TO OUR FRIEND'S FATHER! THAT PENIS HELPED CREATE OUR FRIEND! YOU'RE NOT ALLOWED TO ADMIRE IT!
this must be what syphilis tastes like
how did i get to the car and why are my shoes broken
For some reason there are two like 10 year old black girls crumping at the bar. I feel like I'm in a missy elliot video.
I was literally convinced that the turkey wrap i was eating was keeping me alive. And i couldnt have been happier. That high.
Found plan b box covered with blood. In kitchen sick. Pickle jar is empty. Wtf happened?
I cartwheeled across every street... They tried to stop me but I bit anyone who came near me
Just played slippy cup. Flip cup plus slip n slide. What did you do with your fourth of july?
I had to rip your toilet paper for you...
Woke up to a sex noise notice under my door...he gets a A+ for proformance and ill be seeing him again.
I know I come to this conclusion on a fairly regular basis but I really do need a babysitter
drunk me always erases text conversations because she is a woman of mystery and does not like for me to know what's going on in her life
Randomize
