Liz and I are now offficially highest. OH, and your girlfriend may be a vampire. Heads up. SPARKLESSSSS
Put my glitter back.
When we woke up, I asked if we could play "what does your name rhyme with".....he said 'bave' thank god it was easy
I know the scar will be in an obvious place, that's why I'm certain it'll score me cancer blowjobs
Forgot to mention...Pamela Anderson has HPV, so i feel like im in good company
Tonight will be judged a success if I walk out without having thrown up on my shirt.
Were you paying girls to come up and grab my cock and tell me I look like bradley Cooper?
Slutty costumes are my most sacred holiday tradition! Wearing a not-slutty costume is like putting cheezwiz on a communion wafer.
He threw up the X he took like 30min before then when we thought his antics were over... BOOM! He tried to pee out a light he was holding.
I was fucking trucked by the swat team last night on State Street after UK won. But I got a picture with the guy afterwards so I forgive him
he said good things come in small packages and I decided to hook up with someone else
I'm ordering a French maid costume for my dog too. It's like a couples costume, except for losers with dogs.
Except if I'm having sex. In which case you're in the bed with us or out of the room. No halfsie participation.
Just picked up an ounce of keif and if it goes to waste before the world ends I'm gonna haunt the shit out of somebody when we all die.
She called it a palate cleanser. She and her friend dike it out once a year before returning to dick
Together or do they pick up? How far do they go? IS AN AUDIENCE PERMITTED? GODAMIT ANSWERS MAN!!!!!!
You told the entire smokers deck that you were blowing .08 now and anyone else willing later
Randomize
