My key broke off while I was turning the key. I can't pull the broken key out. Not only am i locked outside, so is the rest of the building.
i wanna do a homemade sex video in sepia and pretend were in the early 20th c
Peter invited his little brother to smoke with us and he is trying so hard to pretend he's done it before. When he saw the weed he was like "hell yeah!" and everyone got completely silent and just looked at him
Dude she has the ugliest blow job face ever.
i just kept saying he was red & i was blue and we couldnt become purple. I started crying at one point
So his "youporn" cam totally caught me stealing quesadilla leftovers.
stuck in the elevator with that hot guy from the 3rd flood. Worried he can smell my spray tan and desperation
I think I'm gonna quit partying for awhile. Piercing my own nose is where I draw the line.
She's cute, but batshit. Like some kind of dominatrix disney princess.
I just did a line of coke with an Olympic bronze medallist. I guess we know why he only got bronze.
All I remember is dance battling with a man named tom the entire time who kept buying me drinks so id say it was a success
when a dude sends me an unwanted dick pic I just send him a picture of a nicer one. A more photogenic one. A dick with a future.
I just fell and sprained my ankle in the shower. No, I wasn't having sex. I was doing the time warp. Again.
He finally left. I didn't introduce him to the roommate. The sex is bad. I don't want him to feel welcome
Typical Sunday morning text...are you alive?
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