Got bored today and made list of places in apt I want to have sex. One includes opening and coming out the window.
If I die, please delete the word file entitled "Rainy Day"
how many princess gummy vitamins will it take to negate last nights drinking binge?
then we talked for a little and he asked my last name which since I have yet to get a fb request I'm 95% sure its for a restraining order
I drank 13 shots. Which is unlucky. Which is why i threw up.
you threw up because you drank 13 SHOTS
so...he totally just used scissors to cut up the weed. a wet paper towel to moisten the blunt....and a blow dryer so it wouldn't be wet. this dude either has the worst case of OCD or has the potential to be the next martha stewart.
He went down on me and then slapped my ass saying "thanks for the confidence boost"... is this all I'm good for?
don't ever tell me how terrible your next walk of shame is until you run into your little brother on his way to class.
Had "I should be in prison or dead" storytime at the bar. Found out James has done blow off a dead guy. Overwhelmed and speechless.
you are my patron saint of "too drunk for 9am". i just keep asking myself what would alyssa do as i try to regain motor function
I can't believe she made out with my 15 year old brother. That kid can seriously pull.
You would think the bank would reward me for getting my account down to 3 cents without overdrafting it.
So he's compensating for a really small penis. Either that or he's a drug lord.
Okay... I just said "preach it" to the pokemon theme song. I'm hammered.
Coming straight to your house after the flight. If not in Federal Prison for disobeying peanut laws.
She was a little thick, but we banged on the beach and fireworks went off as we finished so I think God wanted it
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