Good luck man
I dont need it. Shes easy.
I'm going to rape someone's good day.
worst. lesbian. ever. i'm not sure she knows a clit from a pencil eraser.
We walked because you started screaming when you finally realized he wasn't Ben Bailey and it wasn't the Cash Cab.
I told you not to have sex with her on my futon
I didnt dude, i swear!
either that or you were eating mayo, which was the second thing i told you not to do on my futon
you made a powerpoint titled 'things i've drank tonight' and emailed it to me.
Just found bud in my hair....gotta love curls
He started doing the gator chop at my vag and said he couldn't wait to "chomp" on it later...and I still slept with him. I hate gainesville.
Dude, you punched me in the face bc I wasnt ordering your tbell fast enough. Then when you got it, you threw it out the window bc, and I quote, "OBAMACAREEEE!"
I remember doing shots of gin, then I have this strange memory of us making out in the womens room at waffle house.
I regret none of it.
People will call it the Wrath of the Froyo. We'll be immortalized.
I just did a booty-call caliber shave job in preparation for this weekend. Fuck being ladylike; I'm tryna get LAID-ylike
I feel like a bottle of fireball rented a bull dozer and ran me over until I was left without a shred of my dignity
It's the 3rd day of the year and I've already sucked two dicks. New year same ole me.
Thanks. It's every girl's dream, right? To blow a bald marketing consultant 12 years her senior?
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