And secondly i just said i'd pay ten dollars to have sex with you
The Rock is playing the tooth fairy. I can't believe I used to smell what that man was cooking
I just saw "i'm bigger then that" as her facebook status. Would it be better to make a fat joke or correct her grammar?
they found her hiding behind the couch trying to feed a cabbage patch doll a bottle of tequila. please tell me she's on birth control.
I hated hipsters before it was mainstream.
I'm not going to fuck him in his Honda Fit. That's gay.
I just spewed blue gatorade in the shower. It looked like the ocean.
Interesting preview of what next year will be like. Side note, missing a chunk of flesh from my middle finger.
The UPD just told me that he was going to call the cops if i try to run. you owe me 5 dollars, i told u they arn't real cops
I know. My only sports are biking to buy drugs and running from the police.
as soon as I stop standing here with one leg up on my bathroom counter admiring my balls, I'm going to go tan. and then you may come over.
All you kept saying was, " Barack fucking Obama. FUCK Michelle" and then you motorboated me.
I appreciate alcohol much more now that I have to be sober sometimes
I don't really want to explain what i mean by this so just answer yes or no. are 5 cows enough?
Only good thing about being an essential worker is that I have a letter allowing me to cross the bridge into jersey to get booze
Randomize
