Our Neighbors are trying to steal our ducks!
I heard a loud ass thump and then I saw both dogs coming around the corner.... Without him. I went to check out what happened and the dogs apparently pulled him down onto his face, knocking him out.
He said to me this morning that we should finish these beers, go and get plan B then on the way back, go to the pub to celebrate the death of our baby. I love Manchester.
So if you want this MFM threesome thing to happen the other guy is here and willing
Any coincidence your getting married tomorrow and it's the most predicted day for the rapture? Just saying
I'm skyping with my parents and reading Cosmo articles on giving great head. I'm on a roller coaster that only goes up, baby.
Our sex has gotten so much better since we broke up.
I don't think anybody else enjoys making out with multiple guys on the same night as much as I do. I'm like a wine taster but with lips... it's like art to me. The bruise on my upper lip is proof of it
It wasn't so much skinny dipping. It more like skinny walking...through a fountain.
I drank toilet water last night, I can't answer you because my phone is in rice.
So if her brother fucks my brother, can I just tell her that anal sex is in her genes?
I went on an adventure and now we have more food.
Well, really we just have fire sauce and cookies. But they're edible.
Can I get my morals surgically removed?
God gave you your own nipples for a reason.
If that pentatonix bullshit is playing when I get home we're breaking up
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