i pretty much saved your life. you were so conviced that your nail polish remover bottle was "Vodka Lemon"
time to smoke my breakfast
I had it in my eyebrows, my bangs, under one eye, and across both cheeks. Congratulations on the successful and elusive warpaint cumshot.
she was stuffing dove chocolates in my mouth while giving me a blow job. GOD I LOVE VALENTINES DAY
My mom assumed I was crying because he was leaving. Figured that was better than explaining my eye's sensitivity to semen..
Lost gin update. Blackout me found and re-hid the bottle. Left a note to myself saying, "GOOD LUCK, SUCKER!"
Seriously though, you almost tore my right nipple off.
Of course I will... FYI I just gave my balls a crew cut.
Naked. naked and bneed help.
Just check with her if girls can get blown, that's all.
She wouldn't eat a clam- if you blow a line pregnant you can eat a clam
Now with the essential back story, I can empathize. Sorry about your beer and butthole.
WHY HAVE SO MANY THING GONE IN MY BUTT ON THIS TRIP
I'm so stoned. We're making Josh's sister bake us brownies. She's so small and pixie like. Her brownies make me cry tears of happy.
Yelled "don't taze me bro" as the police officer tazed me. Cross it off the list.
Randomize
