you kept screaming that dicks were growing out of your back and then you started crying cause they were so far from your vag
could you get any more awkward?
Well, of course, to the untrained eye I look like a slut.
If I was there, I'd make you a vicodin spiked sandwich.
I'm riding in a wheelchair, being pulled by a golf cart. You need to be here.
in fingerprint form on my ass. Seriously not cool. \ni bruiiiseeee like a delicate fruiiiitttt. Heeeaaarrr the rythymmm
Guy in the room next to us in the ER is chanting "I'm jeff and I'm drunk". He's trying to get released to finish tailgating for the Iowa game that starts in 9 hours.
Just got a voicemail from a guy referring tp himself "as chest hair guy". If I'm coming home to a intervention I understand.
So I think before Superbowl weekend begins we should all take a look back on last year and learn from our pitfalls... AKA no touchdown shots and kitchen crying.
Had sex with one of the guys from Ireland. Celebrating st pattys early.
How bad is it I'm looking at his cock while waiting to see my therapist?
maybe if I avoid him long enough we could skip the talking part of "we need to talk"
We were sitting outside of the building and he literally just walked up with no pants on. This is the best college ever
Like I blink, and he's face first in my vagina.
I told my mom Jesus would want me to snort drugs on his birthday
Fun fact: nipples work on touch screens. Tell your friends :)
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