Cold hands, warm shart.
I just gave my whole company pinkeye. How's that for a summer intern's lasting impression? BOOYAHH
i havent had this much fun since the last time i farted and it created a boner.
just found his boxers balled up inside my tights, hidden in my freezer. damn i love college.
In an unknown location. With a giant marshmallow stuck to my back. Hello breakfast.
this ms. usa coverage has sucessfully humbled every girl here. depressed fish in a leaky barrel. go!
I didn't think about how painful the pumpkin seeds coming up the next morning would be. Oh well, I'm good at making pumpkin seeds and that's all that matters.
I didn't cheat on him. He just hasn't been informed of the open part of our relationship.
i'm gonna fuck his crew, i'm gonna wax my asshole. i'm gonna make them all cry tears of sex joy then move to colorado.
Favor? Can you not wear as much glitter on your face this time? Walking in the house looking like a disco ball was enough embarrassment for the week 😒
I cannot FaceTime with your penis
Then when he got home he face timed me and showed me his balls
my only goal for the semester is never go to my wednesday class sober
I came home braless and wearing a tail....
I complemented his smile, he sends me a dick pic. Seriously?
Randomize
