I tried to gradually lead her into my room but she wouldn't stop crying and quoting memoirs of a geisha
She made fun of how I walked so I announced to her boyfriend that I have cum on her face before.
i'm starting to get really nervous about the relationship i have with my cat
Went to the career fair today..I handed out many resumes to find out later that they say I have a bachelor o farts degree...Top that.
So you had sex with my brother?
It sounds like you dont need me to answer that.
The family from the blindsided came and talked to us last night. The dad owns 68 taco bells. You would have been so inspired
there's sperm and chicken noodle soup everywhere
Please tell me you've ingested more than weed and Oreos today
I'm eating captain crunch out of a cup half full of beer so idk
You were so drunk last night you left the bar to go buy a razor so you could go home with him
I woke up hugging a box of cheerios that had "wonder woman" written in sharpie on it. So much for a sober night.
let’s be honest I’d fucking Irish step dance on your grave, asshole
I don't think I've ever met a guy with a bush bad enough that I would choose a cactus over it.
We're at the liquor store. Then going to the hospital
Can i have the words "she went crazy and never came back" written on my grave?
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