Theres this tee in the mall and it says all girls just wanna have safe sex. U make me think thats a lie
You can't see him, he's in front of the dildo, but Amelia Earhart is blocking your view.
If I buy you $300 worth of popeyes, will that make up for me trashing the house?
I guess since this is supposed to be my year of the lesbian it's okay
he's only going to be home for two days, his dick is going to be in me for the whole 48 hours, he doesnt have a choice.
I have to think about this realistically and not with my vagina.
The cops knocked on our door just to ask us if we were really having a no-pants party.
after the shots you kept on yelling "this is for the dreamers"
Plan B, arranged marriage to a rich Indian, is rapidly becoming Plan A. Fuck Finals.
He is peeing inside and sticking up for himself. Those are two of the four signs of the apocalypse.
I hope to God it's not the new neighbors having sex, because what I'm hearing sounds like a mildly defective vuvuzela or a cow giving birth.
so I may or may not have had intense sex to mozart's greatest hits on vinyl... I don't know if I should be proud or just really disappointed in my nerdness
Is eating a dinner of fishsticks and gin mean you're failing at adulthood? I'm asking for a friend.
THIS THING HATES MY LIVER
The guy at the liqiour store just said "Wow haven't seen you in awhile, is everything okay?"
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