I now officially know the distance between my two boobs is one twizzler.
There really should be an "avoid ghetto" option on my GPS.
soooo.. i guess the cop said he'd drop the charges if i go to some AA meetings and i said fuck AA. not one of my better choices.
I love reading their "i love you more" , "no i love you more" war on facebook today knowing that he hooked up with me last night. I bet i know who wins that one.
Dude, I found another chunk missing out of my tooth. Fuck drinking on tuesdays.
Even my Russian and Serbian roommates think I drink to much.
Talking about the game in the closet with a banana wearing sunglasses.
Showerbowl immediately followed by pullups naked. I feel like fucking Tarzan
Welcome to the club of "Sick of cleaning up actual shit." We meet on the 3rd Sunday of each month. Bring your ceremonial viking helmet.
He told me I smelled like peanut butter, pepperoni, and pure unbrieldled passion.
Sex in a hot air balloon, top that one!
His middle name is Julius so I named his penis Caesar and told him he has to say "Hail Caesar!" whenever he comes. He didn't seem to like the idea, though.
just found the "let's take a picture before we do these roommates" before picture
thank god there was never an after picture.
Yes I went home with her last night. I woke up this morning and ran into my boss on the way to the bathroom. Monday is going to suck at work.
at the hospital. Kevin drank straight from the river
Randomize
