last night you decided it was time to "get organized" and "straighten out your life." You pulled out a bag of troll dolls, sorted through them and got nostalgic. You demanded both andy and i take one and keep it forever.
Have u ever been so drunk that pissing urself felt like a better idea than walking to the bathroom? I entered those waters last night
I have never made a good decision in that bathroom...
did i paint my nails blue or do i need to make a trip to the ER?
Plus my stomach has been speaking through my ass all day sending notes saying "fuck you" and "this is from your liver" or "i will kill you."
Not sure if you carved a butthole or vagina in that pumpkin but that didn't stop high Phil from mounting. My study group is horrified.
So we just left her at the hospital. She is not ruining my Monday night
Finished watching the entire first season of mighty morphing power rangers. Now I have nothing. Not even a life.
How would I get in touch with Carly Rae Jepsen if I wanted to thank her for the loss of my virginity?
I am just going to stick my boobs out and hope for the best
We fucked through the entire Destiny's Child album, it was a beautiful thing.
Also, you fell asleep with you hand on and around my cock last night.
the last thing i heard from her was "i wanna get fucked by a stranger" and i haven't seen her since
you know you’re single when you try to cook yourself a nice pasta dinner but you’re too weak to open the container of sauce and theres no one around to help you
If she didn't have scissors in her hand I would have motor boated the fuck out of her when she was done cutting my hair.
Randomize
