My dog ate my bag of weed. Thats not the easiest call to the vet to make.
i have no concept of time, i feel my nose, and im seeing everything in bitty hexagons.
he's sitting on top of the fridge in only a black speedo and wont get down
Saved By The Bell: The College Years had it waaaay wrong on that one.
I found them in the kitchen microwaving bottle rockets chanting U.S.A U.S.A U.S.A
i think he saw me take a picture of his dick
my sober ride is dancing w/ a fat girl. i might be awhile
you might as well be a hobo. you were covered in pee last night hanging out on the stairs drunk.
right. well we all have our lows.
I have no idea where I am, where my pants are, there is cheese stuck to my ass.. Why do I have your phone?
shot for shot with some guy twice your age to prove Detroit hustles harder then you left with him. We're tracking you
I drew a nude short fat middle aged woman today and liked it
It was honestly one of my favorite days in art class except for the 20 min she faced me and kept looking at me and we made eye contact
Id fuck him but only at his house and he had to stay im bed till i left. He only works upper body. It just creeps me out how tiny his legs are
Everyone was in jail by 10:30. I'd say it was a successful bachelor party.
Are you the reason I woke up without pants?
Science requires me to take a picture of your nipples.
It's not even noon yet and I just fucked my professor's son in the psych lab..it's gonna be a great day.
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