is it bad that the cashier at chick-fil-a shouted "see you tomorrow!" as i drove away?
Remind me that when I'm pregnant, I should NOT post vaginal dilation updates on my facebook. Ever.
im goin to the NYE party with a tuxedo painted on my body. i know a girl who does it. wanna join?
do you wanna get some fucking pussy tonight.....THEN DRESS LIKE IT
do you think theyll let us bring mariachis to the strip club?
want to meet me after class and possibly get arrested for indecent exposure?
When you're not at your house I assumed you're somewhere having sex
Nothing. Its like my body doesn't know how to function on a Saturday when its not hungover and/or still drunk.
I mean, you got a giant dick. I've seen lawn gnomes that are smaller.
Well puke fest 2014 just happened
If you think eating a bowl of leftover stuffing and drinking champagne from the bottle in dirty sweats at 9am is sexy... Then yeah, I'm your girl.
Like you haven't hit rock bottom until you have had to throw your own turd out a window
You took nana to a bar?!
she suggested it
I sharted in court today and had to sit on it for about three and a half hours.
My Dachshund waddled into the room carrying a rolled-up pad in her mouth with period blood. This day is clearly off to a good start.
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