told my boyfriend i was a virgin so he wouldnt feel bad since he is. now hes asking why his dick is so itchy. should i tell him why?
i don't see why you should, it's not like you told the other guys with the itchy dicks.
I wish I was that guy from the miller light commercials so I could walk into parties and take peoples beer without getting yelled at
he got instantly turned off in the middle of a blowjob when he heard the news "twilight beat the blockbuster record of batman"
Dude i'm seriously thinking about his nipples.
Everytime I know she spent a lot of time on her hair for one of our dates, I intentionally cum on the top of her head. That's how she knows I pay attention.
I was preparing to do my walk of shame shirtless, but then I found my sweater, wallet and keys neatly piled under a tree in the park.
I just realised I've never been sober in my apartment
I drunkenly took 3 laxatives last night since I felt fat.... this is going to be a rough morning
Showering in not my own throw up is really hittin the spot right now.
I stirred my drink with a butcher knife. His roomate keeps giving me dirty looks
Like what do you want from me
What if there is no right person? Maybe it's just the right cat. Or the right 12 cats.
Remember, today is also the anniversary of Harambe's death. D**** out.
Took the ex out to the bar, then left with her and her best friend....and you said this was a bad thing.
its like probably shouldnt be sending pics of your asshole to strangers who work in the same building as you
I will warn you that there is a pic of me riding a buffalo....and for the record, I was completely sober!!
Randomize
