Just spent the rest of my time at that bar trying to keep a probs underage closet gay from touching my kitten to prove he still likes girls.
My clean wipe streak was ended today by two enchiladas and a can of refried beans. dammit i should have been more cautious. thanks for all ur encouragement and support.
Black Friday shoppers are ridiculous. I think I just watched a marriage end.
like when he blacked out and we found him in the garden eating your tomatoes off the vine
I need a pic of your cock for our cock collage
Just successfully invited my mom to a drag show. If that doesnt say "im gay" then idk what will.
I lost all of my bathing suit tops.. This is both a success and a failure
So...guess who had sex tied to the ladder of a caboose under the stars in Joshua Tree? This bitch
the conference was great. we had to hide the acid in a planter in front of the department of agriculture though
You FaceTimed your mom in the back of the limo telling her how many guys you hooked up with at the concert
Drunk me is basically the Oprah of nudes. Everyone gets one.
I just learned in class that female whales slap their fins against the water and then ten males come and fight for her yet we can't get guys to text us back
My aunt just dropped me off at the bar, handed me $50 and told me she'd pick me up later if I needed her to. I should've gotten my license suspended a long ass time ago lol
my face feels like mints and my body feels like tingles
Her hot older sister walked in on us, looked me up and down, then stared straight at her and said "I call sloppy seconds on this one" then left. I'm still debating on how I feel about that.
Randomize
