Got some. In a truck. I will just pee you in the morning i guess?
the sex was like sticking it in a jar of mayonnaise
Having kids is risky. They might end up weird.
pshh wine cellars. now if he has a tequila cellar whole different story
i jus got home and totaly forgot i had nut all over the back of my shirt
..im mad u rememberd about that
look, i dont wanna be "that girl" but if someone offers me coke in exchange for sex, i cant say no.
Just woke up with a blunt in each nostril and a lighter duct taped to my chest...good lookin out
There is a guy, stoned out of his mind, only wearing slippers and a bathrobe in the library.
Sorry for my penis texting you last night, I can't control what he wants at 4am.
Woke up in an unfamiliar pair of underwear, running shoes but no socks, and a cowboy hat. Thank you crown royal
as of this morning I have officially vommed on the highways of 6 different countries. It's a proud moment.
Dude best one night stand i woke she was cleaning our fridge while waiting for the cab to show
Hey, I'm renting a storage locker for the summer to keep all my bondage shit in so my parents don't see it. You wanna split on it for your all your weed shit?
Yeah but him not going to be sleeping in your sink this time.
No I got a fucking mosquito bite on my vagina. Summer is off to a bumpy start.
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