I typed "housewife" into monster.com's search engine....I got zero results...kinda bummed
just got my tax refund and at bell. how do you say i want a grand worth of 5 layer burritos in spanish?
I fukin lobve the states. Girls here let me fuck them because they like my accent. I may not go back
I may be Daddy's little princess, but doesn't mean I can't be the blowjob queen.
Also, I don't remember opening my gifts from my family. It was cool when I woke up with a new ihome.
Just got done fucking the squirter chick. She came when we were in a 69. I now know what it's like to be water boarded.
why does he always try to puke into shot glasses
i think we should start 2012 by becoming clean and sober for awhile and buckle down
ppsyche im wasted where are you
I feel bad for her, but I feel like she's one of those resource-raping alien civilizations that visits planets, decimates them and then leaves. Those really aren't the qualities I appreciate in a friend. Ya know?
Starting St Patrick's Weekend, non stop flights on Pacific Whorelines to the scenic HotMessXpress. Get the cougars ready, it's gonna get weird.
I just found out that my husband and I are Eskimo siblings. What in the actual fuck?!
THE PRUIS IN YOUR DRIVEWAY IS NOT YOURS
excuse me?
I accidentally borrowed your spare keys a while ago...i just tried them...that, my friend, is not your car.
he threw an umbrella that he ripped out of the table at the fence like he was harpooning a whale while the owner of the bar was outside then tried to blame it on an old man...
Philosophical question for you: is it better to go into work slightly drunk or slightly coked out?
I’ve slept with a Senior, a Freshman and a Junior so far. I’m a Sophomore away from hitting for the cycle
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