that girl last night was a 15
wait she was 15?
no like black jack not sure if you should hit it
I just spent an hour correcting all the grammar and spelling of all the 2pac songs on my ipod
i just found five singles in my underwear?! im suspicious but delighted none the less
we were frolicking through a fountain of pizza rolls. it was like the best dream i ever had
I ishhh haha are u coming nack easyer?
the fact that I know you're asking me if I'm coming home for easter makes me believe I speak fluent vodka.
Day 3. Will have to postpone job hunting by a month. May have blown out my knee. Was sunburned on Friday. Now look painted red. Still alive. All worth it.
I woke up to my dog trying to clean my vagina.
Also, I threw up on the playground again. I've honestly had more fun there this past summer than I did in my entire childhood.
Sweet. I'm actually coaching my work study into a 4-girl orgy so dinner was kinda important. Yes, I'm the best boss ever.
My phone just said I texted someone at 430a and said let's fight. Then I texted them an hour later and said thanks.
i just took a huge shit in old main. i think my college bucketlist is finished.
Hillary said in her victory speech "We're gonna come together". I've got a lib-boner.
i just want to get drunk and cry and have sex with lots of men
As I walked across the lawn after the party got busted, an officer told me to chug my beer before I left the premises.
Pretty sure my aunt hooked up with one of my brothers frat brothers at his graduation party
Randomize
