We walked because you started screaming when you finally realized he wasn't Ben Bailey and it wasn't the Cash Cab.
She laid down on my bed and played "I want you to want me" on my laptop. subtle.
official worst smell ever. a used condom that has gone through the dryer.
he saw my boobs and came all over himself... there goes my whole night.
I don't think blacking out in class is a good idea. But I'm game
Just think about how many life skills I lack. Cooking... Driving... Sobriety...
Chick in class has 69 tattooed on the back of her neck. Target acquired.
I only feel half bad for cheating on him because while we were fucking I was given great relationship advice and now I'm ready to work some things out.
Somehow those two combined like captain planet and shit went haywire
He has a bathrroom scale in his room with an alarm attached to it so anything over 150 sets it off and in his drinking stupper he can make a run for it.
The only rule I'm making for myself tonight is to not drink out of the sink at the bar.
You have more time for sex than anyone I know.
For a second I thought that you were becoming a decent person again. I am glad I was wrong.
I could tell my life story through kermit memes
I just got free tacos, you would be so proud of me.
Clarification, I got free tacos without performing any sexual favors.
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