I just had the ultimate walk of shame. I'm barefoot, in his gym short with vomit in my hair and I walked half a mile through campus. At noon. Thanks for picking up ur phone
I don't care where my tongue is but i t's going to be in all the pictures.
I just saw the host of Singled Out do standup. Holy shit 1995.
Just getting around to doing laundry. Jesus there's a lot of blood on my birthday dress.
Okay, thats embarrasing even by my standards and I've thrown up while wearing a viking hat. just a viking hat.
Its official. Girls from Indiana do not give rim jobs.
My neighbor is on the his front porch in a robe dipping a popsicle into what appears to be vodka. I want to be his son.
turns out that the cat the james was trying to catch was a raccoon. call me when you get this, i need an ER buddy
Drunk me cleaned my room for me. Needless to say our relationship has improved greatly
Oh god. I finally realized why the coked out Stevie wonder was explaining the concept of movember to the McDonalds clerk. Drunk me didn't process that another month comes after Halloween... It's apparently November.
Well. No wine. And no real mixers. I'm using vodka and grape juice and calling it Slurrrlot. Happy Holidays bitch.
There's scrapes on the inside of both my thighs.. Because we wanted to get drunk and climb trees naked.
I can't handle dick pics with conversational captions
I need to stop getting drunk and telling people it isn't "about them."
I'm still a bit day drunk and decided to go for a run. You may get a snapchat of me vomiting soon
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