Mr. Last Night just informed me I told him to be very quiet when he left this morning and high-fived him as a goodnight kiss. Drunk me is slutty and manly.
You ruined his night from a different state? Impressive.
It took him longer to remove his skinny jeans than it did for him to finish. I didn't even have time to realize it sucked until it was already over.
We were making out and then he stopped and said to me, "Your ship is right there, why don't you take your people and just go?"
He kept saying 'your mouth is Amazing' even after I was on his dick.
There are bud lights poping out of the zipper of my overnight bag and my dildo almost fell out in the elevator. not professional
we started pounding beers an hour ago to celebrate our personal snow day tomorrow. vodka shots for u of i's actual decision are on standby.
Protocol on turning down a date from someone in the House of Representatives?
I answered the door to some Jehovah Witnesses hungover and wearing nothing but a white tshirt. I think they made it the church goal to reform me, we've gotten four pamphlets. My mom's going to make me convert if they keep coming.
No one parties like Jon. He once stole a cops hat, ran like the wind, partied all night with it, and dropped it off at the station the next day with a box of donuts as an appology.
Your stories are the best. I feel like you're a spy among the heteros. It's not fair.
I would be down to associate sex w taco bell
Your the only girl I know that carries a $1100 purse with tater tots inside
let me just take this time to thank you again for buying pudding.
I threw a lamp at you?
Yes, yes you did.
Awesome
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