You asked the dj to play 'who let the dogs out" because it was your birthday. You left the bar and then re-entered to the song
I wish we never smoked. I'm literally laying in bed opening and closing my eyes, just hoping a hot dog stand will appear in the room.
There is a semi-attractive guy at the door who's looking for you. Says he met you on Chatroulette. Start explaining NOW.
Yes, that was ME getting carried out of the club singing 'i believe i can fly'
One my way home. There was too much fog, strobe lights, and cocaine for my taste.
Dude, she's the greatest salesman alive. she convinced chelsea to buy a box of Cheerios for $20. She can find your dick some willing pussy.
I woke up because a stranger was shoving an already lit bowl into my mouth. Spring break is awesome
Nothing says happy gameday like waking up in only an ACC Championship shirt in the qb's bed with a different football player
I plan on drinking enough to kill at least 2 frat boys and make an aa meeting weep for joy
I was shitfaced. I filled my contact case WITH TANNING LOTION
im drinking out of a pineapple, so yea.
Dude we need to hang out soon. I'm in the mood to get arrested again.
You know shit got weird when you watched another guy shove drugs up your wife's ass and it wasn't awkward for any of us....
Woke up with a $100 bill from the Philippines in my bra & an unopened box of sour patch kids next to me. I have some questions.
You said the best orgasm you ever had, you gave to yourself. your boyfriend looked really disappointed. so did half the room.
Randomize
