It's underwear night and I am literally in the bar wearing nothing but underwear and flip flops.
You should have been there to see the look on her face when I told her that my dog gives better head than her. It was a beautiful symphony of shock, anger, and disbelief.
aparently i pased my english final. I don't even remember taking it.
Great News, you CAN smoke bowls with a magnifying glass
Fyi when u order four mini bottles of scotch on a 45 min flight. The flight attendants jaw drops to the floor.
i jsut feel off the bus, but its ok the driver let me back on. a woman hid her baby from me..
If we see one freshman that cummed on me, we are leaving.
Come my child we shall walk thru the pasture of amazing sex and corndogs. Hint:some corndogs are not corndogs.
Delete that photo of me. My ass looks WAY to good it in to be on Facebook for everyone to see. You gotta earn that shit.
Guess who has two thumbs and broke her boyfriends dick?
I hooked up with a guy named Quan.. I literally hit the Quan
What made you think singing Silent Night while I was puking was a good idea?!?!
His dick is curly. It's adorable.
I just want a guy who makes lots of money, has a skilled penis and the sex drive of a 22 year on Viagra. Is that too much to ask?
The high school classes are online, not my sex life. He still comes over for “teacher / parent conferences.” A couple more “conferences” and I’ll be able to rewrite the Sex Ed curriculum
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