Dude she looked like Jerry Garcia's knuckles
Dude, the girl i fucked last night left wearing my high school musical shirt you bought me. she also left her panties here though.
The one with Zac Efrons face on it? You definitely got the short in of the stick. i'd rather have the shirt
fuck. yeah me too. i don't even think these panties would fit me
I'm worried someone is gonna take a black light to my work computer. But the connection is faster here.
just threw up nine times in the shower.. solid night last night.
I wana party with Kermit the frog, no wait. Fozzy the bear. He's probably a silly bitch when he's drunk.
There's something really special about 3:00 in the afternoon drunk that just can't be duplicated at any other time of day.
whoever set the energy saving light timer in the lobby bathroom cleraly has no concept how long a work dump takes
Every time I walk onto campus my Saint Patrick's day scar starts to throb. I'm like a drunken accident prone Harry Potter
Names, who you're caught in bed with, both minor details
He woke me up holding a gallon of apple juice and a shot glass...
What do I have to do?! Spell it out for him? Why can't he just plow me and pull my hair at the same time
You are my new hero
I was trying to sext but got a notification that my dad and professor both commented on my Facebook photo. Bad timing.
i came so much i feel like i were to try again, only dust would come out. and maybe glitter
Try sleeping with him.
Why is it that all my gay friends have that solution...
Cuz you will have an answer or have sex.
Pillow talk was a high five, this morning she made dinosaur muffins for the house. I love chapel hill
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