everything was goin great until he pulled out his ed hardy lighter and smoked in my face like he was cool.
it's like you attract all the douchebags that nobody wants. people should thank you.
Dude, Erin Andrews has a nude video circulating the internet.
Is it any good?
Let me put it this way: I bet Stuart Scott's lazy eye went straight after watching that.
We just took the batteries out of the fire alarm to play the breathalyzer game. I love college.
You remember those guys we called the police on after they stole our keg? Turns out one of them is a student instructor in one of my classes. Figuring out how best to use this information.
that freshman chick we always see on the weekends walked into art class wearing a jaegermeister shirt and holding a monster, which she proceeded to shotgun with a pair of scissors. It sickens me to know I will never achieve her level
I tried to bribe him with road head and his toothbrush.
At first I was horrified but then he explained that he shave a "soul patch" on his balls... And I was still horrified, but I went with it.
you texted him "it's time for the no pants dance", please get your tubes tied.
I'LL COME GET YOU. GOTTA FIND A SUIT THAT COVERS TIT BRUISES FIRST.
If I don't have tequila in my hand soon, I'm going to have to violate human rights laws
remember when I lost my virginity and said I could see myself becoming a sex addict?? Well I'm pretty sure that time has come
I'll just tell you, some how when we were having sex on Friday my collarbone got fractured.
With great boredom comes great irresponsibility.
Please tell me you're not on their roof again..
Ahhh, the bane of our relationship.... His mediocre penis
duddde i wasn't even home last night and someone elses clothes are on my floor and there glow sticks everywhere?!
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