Hes far too high and trying to explain daylight savings time to me. Help?
Just took my morning after pill in the library
it was 6 in the morning, and you cried until i put mulan in. then you proceeded to say every word, not to mention sing along... stop drinking.
Mom is telling us about the time she drank her own breast milk. Help.
I am not one to point fingers but since it says your name "wuz here" next to the dick drawn on my stomach I am holding you personally responsible.
I've never seen a homeless man jog to get off the bus and then run to his panhandling spot because he's "late for work," but you see something new every day.
My contribution to the dinner party was a bottle of vodka and a bag of uncooked potatoes. I felt like a Russian serf.
Things were easy when he was just a penis. Now he's a penis with feelings.
DR UNK TOWN USA
TEAM USA GO AMERICA
True enough. Do you ever think that these girls grandparents ghosts are watching you masterbate to their granddaughters and look at you in Shame?
That moment when you notice a tiny IR camera pointing at you, in your bed, at the apartment you found on Craigslist.
i just got referred to as "the Loch Ness Cockster". God bless my Scottish heritage.
Yeah last night got weird fast. No lie, a kid pulled a butt-plug with a tail out of his ass.
Last time I went to flagstaff I threw up in my beard. I would very much like to recreate that moment.
DO IT!
You took the glass microwave plate and said it was the closest thing to a frisbee, let me know how that works out for you
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