okay I may or may not have wrapped my body pillow up in your t-shirt and sprayed it with your axe and am now spooning with it.
again? I'm starting to get a little creeped out now.
He was about to puke, and so I handed him an empty beer can. In retrospect, not very helpful.
Well he's not exactly single.. It's like an open relationship his wife doesn't know about
1.) where are you? 2.) you making meatballs? 3.) Meatballs for sex?
Hey is there a picture of me in a trash can on your phone?
She is sending me pics of her sex faces...which totally counts as sexting in my book
I just crawled out of bed at 5AM to make her a peanut butter and Nutella sandwich. Somewhere in the distance, I could hear whips cracking.
There was booze on his face and I wanted it. I'm not sorry.
our friendships a beautiful delicate flower...that has been crushed by peni
Just to let you know... If you ever want to get me a gift, the One Direction perfume comes out soon....... It's called Our Moment. It's an appropriate gift for a 25 year old woman.
I am going to go Miley Cyrus crazy if I don't get sex soon
Headline in the alligator: young zeta goes berserk after lack of sex and is found naked swinging from wrecking ball on university ave, refuses to get down until sex partner is found
She said she wouldn't get out of hand. When the cops showed up she jumped off the 4ft high porch and fell into a ditch. She then buried herself because she was wearing light pants and though the light from the cops flashlights would reflect off her pants. We couldn't find her for 40 minutes.
Trust no bitch in laser tag. Not a single one.
I think after tonight I'm 85% lesbian
The cat hopped on my bed and watched me masturbate naked with a vibrator. I've never felt more sorry in my entire life
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