so tomorrow. i'm thinking coinstar then adderall?
It's like God knew that was my ex's best friend and punished me. I've never vomited that much in my life.
My porch is a mess of peanut butter and tostitos...thanks for that.
I need a horse. I don't think you can get a DUI on a living creature.
he's werid. hell kiss me after i go down on him but he wont kiss me after i eat anything with mustard.
i've never smoked before...when you said wake and bake i thought you meant like a funeral bbq or something
So I have the professor convinced that the textbook will take another week to deliver. that should give me enough time to replace the cash i spent on strippers.
I just heard "I just let you finger me on Megabus, I clearly don't have standards".
So like 5 seconds in I realize I knew him in 3rd grade and I went limp in his mouth. It felt like I just murdered the last unicorn ever. Going straight never felt like an option till now.
It's amazing I mean I blew that senator just for him to deny me marriage.... Politics suck and he swallowed!
Also bring a pizza or no entry to my vagina OR the fort.
Cheese only
I beer bonged before it even hit 4 o' clock. Please get on my level homecoming style.
No. There is no way we have to stoop so low as to ask your dad for weed. There has to be an alternative.
The creeper at the bar just realized we have the same birthday and bought me four beers already. He walked off so I took his change and dashed, i'm bringing the case over now.
i dunno dude, he took his shirt off and is rubbing jello shots on himself. i think he's done
Randomize
