Is your liver wearing a sombrero yet?
No...more like a life jacket.
i called my brother from the living room and paid him a dollar to turn off the light in my room. ive hit rock bottom
i have my own cum on my nose right now. don't talk to me about "embarrassed".
how did he go about obtaining bull sperm?
I just had a 30 minute fake cell phone conversation with myself just to avoid hooking up with the drunk guy next to me. its like an art form.
Down at Ground Zero right now. So many people here. It's the most patriotic game of grabass Ive ever seen.
So i realized that if i bought everything from my google search history for the past week i would have a dolphin, a wolf costume, a unicorn costume, a katana and a bullet proof vest. Not sure how the dolphin would fit in but the rest of it would end up in one awesome night or someone would die. Either way i say we do it.
Most of the bar is playing trivia I'm playing destroy a relationship in twenty questions
Maybe just the first 2 wks of Nov can be dick detox.
Basically I don't wanna put on pants...but I'm stoked for drinking my face off tomorrow.
His grandpa picked him up. Brought him to the house. And made him clean the puke off the driveway with a broom and a bucket of water.
almost just sent your mom a dick pic. almost.
I just projectile vomited into my kitchen sink. Today need to be over already.
I have a black eye again and dont know why again
I literally just woke up in a dog bed, in a bathtub in someone else's house...and I'm not wearing pants
Randomize
