don't go home with that guy from jersey
i know, not worth the blood test
I'm torn. Shes everything I ever wanted, but I just cant get past the story about having drunken sex with her dog in high school.
"Tonight I'm turning swine flu into an std" this might be how zombies come about. Peace civilization.
Excuse me by sucking dick i am fighting crime. Just think of all the prostitues going out of business and getting real jobs.
Was the mom I hooked up with decently attractive I feel like her two friends were hotter
Just walked in on the Yellow Ranger getting porked by a guy in a UD Blue Hen costume. Will somebody PLEASE think of the children.
I just power puked in the office bathroom.. blew blood vessels in my eyes and now I'm ready for a donut.... success
Do you ever look at someone's Snapchat story and think ‘you told me you would eat my ass’?
He was super adorable, like I wanna pinch his cheeks while I fuck him...
I'm glad you don't care about kids. That's one of your better qualities.
Of course that's what I'm wearing. I need to find a beard to mount and ride STAT.
Can you hurry up? Jamie just challenged my ex boyfriend to a duel and someone honest to God handed her a sword?
She didn't have her own?
How weird is it that 2 people I've had sex with have the same birthday and they don't even know each other
we have beer and we're watching the birds have sex in our yard.
I honestly have no desire to wear clothes around you
I have that affect on people
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