The guy in front of me in Sociology is definitely working on my farm in farmville. Never met him before. Do I thank him?
she found me naked passed out on the toilet and i just kept repeating "i'm like elvis, but not dead."
I can't believe we just used the phrase "jizz to juice ratio" in casual conversation.
I don't think I own any pants that haven't seen his bedroom floor anymore...
So I've gone into the break room to heat up a styrofoam cup 8 times over the course of 4 hours.. that desperate to see him. Now I have a broken heart AND cancer.
I have to think about this realistically and not with my vagina.
it was a frathouse cornucopia of foul mixed drinks and "sangria", which im convinced was blood and pcp
I think not having bongs in close range is good for my academia
I never should have let my cousin and his pregnant girlfriend move in with me. I'm never having sex again. They scare off men more than 'my dream wedding' pin board.
Next time we smoke don't let me talk. I just said something and it sounded like I was speaking in hashtag.
I may watch porn and eat a baked potato covered in chili in bed
I refuse to believe this is a lapse in my dick hunting skills. It's gotta be the gods playing a game.
The guy I made out with the other night fed me chipotle favored funions and I thought it was true love when I was drunk.
By the way I can not feel my vagina. It's like it's asleep. What the hell did you do?
The gift for sixth anniversary is steel. He bought me handcuffs. Inee I married the right man!
Randomize
