I think most guys look at porn as a fallback career. I mean I know I do.
as evidence of my kitchen this morning my night involved alot of mustard and condoms
Ya after that i took a dump on a car... We're definitely partying with him again
scratched cornea got me an eyepatch and a blowjob from a girl with a thing for pirates
the taxi driver actually pulled over to let us moon a house full of people
Grad practice is like a live scrapbook of my drunken sexual encounters
as she was beating the hell out of his ex, she screamed prison rules, and smashed her head with a beer bottle. I'm oddly afraid yet so attracted to her now.
Where are you? I hear fireworks and you've gone missing. I'm sure that is not coincidence.
Let's not fuck on an air mattress tonight...I'd rather get rug burn.
he's like a horny 3rd grader on cocaine. he needs a leash
SOS... STANDING IN THE BAR NEXT TO MY BF AND THE GUY WHO I HOOKED UP WITH ON CHRISTMAS DAY..
I have the liquor shits and this time, it's personal.
I was having a serious heart-to-heart, and then the weed gummy kicked in.
You know something is wrong with your life when your mom is at the bar getting free tequila shots and you aren't
Guy peeing and puking at the same time in the women's restroom? So impressed that I can't be offended
Randomize
