New plan, instead of sleeping with her, I'm just going to use her to sleep with the entire sorority.
I don't know if this beer pong partnership can last if you refuse to look me in the eye when we make sweet sweet clutch cup at the same time.
So I'm probably the first guy in history to tap out of a blowjob.
Say something like you want him to fuck you behind a McDonald's. Guys secretly love weird shit like that.
She's cheated on every boyfriend she's ever had with the same guy. She's like a slutty yo-yo.
He rode my dog to the bathroom and wouldn't stop laughing once he got in. It was scary.
He referred to his penis as "a gentle giant" and said I had offended it
I bet George Washington got SERIOUS head back in his hay day.
I asked if anyone's pants felt wet on the bottom, like a half hour after mine did. I had just peed my pants i had gotten so high no biggie
Signs of a stoner: trying everything in your fridge topped with peanut butter to seek satisfaction.
Mom said it is up to us to plan Thanksgiving. Hooters or Scores?
Or???
I'll seduce him with my charm, after all, I am a graceful swan.
More like a demented cow.
Dude you came into the room last night soak and wet and told me you just took a shit in the shower
A total of 3 guys left my apartment this morning. That was my first clue to my black out endeavors last night. Gotta love wine Wednesdays.
He has an 8 pack! HE HAS AN 8 PACK!!!!
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