Spring semester is just not the same w/o you
I got fucking wesley sniped last night by that power hoe. How'd it end up on your end? Did you canoodle the stripper enough for her to agree to go to formal?
She was hit by a car at 47 mph and lived. That explains everything.
Do you ever look back at facebook pics and say, "are those really guys I had sex with?"
Dear God. I kissed a man tonight who was born in 1936.
He is in the front yard trying to catch birds out of the air with a fishing net.
Hey man sorry, can't talk. I'm already taking risks by ripping the bong on this conference call.
it's ok. he made up for it by standing there and holding my purse while i made out with three guys at the bar. it was a pretty good night.
I need moral support for this bender
I'm sorry for the texts and anything that I said that may have caused confusion, pain or irritation. I shall not be drinking again. Furthermore I will not be keeping a phone on me should I fail to adhere to the prior statement.
Yes but funny for a 45 year old hell bent on reliving her college days by giving body shots and hand jobs. Not necessarily in that order
Also, your girlfriend apologized to me about yesterday. That was nice of the cunt.
I don't need inspirational quotes. If I'm going to be motivated, it will be by anger and spite.
Two questions: Did you enjoy your birthday present and how did i wake up with glitter all over my dick?
She lured me back to her place with pizza and tits. I was totally helpless
Randomize
