Didn't tell him I was on my period. Then had to surreptitiously remove some uterine lining from his cock.
I don't know. The next thing I remember we were in the walmart parking lot making out.
hey just checking if u still hate me for sleeping with your sister?
can we change the rule from "no one is ugly after 2 am" to 1130 so i can justify last night
Chinatown. Her fortune cookie said "accept the next proposition you receive." TELL ME NO NOW.
You found me in the back room alone eating someone else's whole birthday cake with my hands then asked me if you could join.
How do you think the people in my class would react if I ripped all my clothes off and jumped on him right now?
I know it I should, but it's kinda nice. It's smells like unbridled enthusiasm and copious amounts of melt your face off sex.
She took the fish and put it in the hot tub, then turned on the jets. She said she was training it for the Olympics.
Today's weekday brunch started at 2pm, and consisted of $7 of sandwich and $50 of cocktails. Also, I hustled the bartender for about $3 playing nickel poker, but he may have been letting me win. Either way, he didn't get into my pants.
At least one of us had a weekend full of money and dick
The fact that you think I have a life is so flattering to me.
Just FYI, by the transitive property my breasts have now touched the Stanley Cup.
I really prefer to do my walks of shame in the summer
Well, I ruined his toilet and he's still completely okay with me. Plus, it took him like a week to tell me.
If a girl I didn't love ruined my toilet I don't think I'd stick around.
Randomize
