i was unaware that anal sex sometimes ends with shit on the bed.
Soooo my gf got the droid and doesn't have BBM anymore, I think its over for her
She had to get her inhaler in the middle of fucking...but she kept it in.
I can't wait til my little brother reaches the point where puking doesn't mean we stop drinking
All you kept saying was "my dick ALWAYS causes problems".
dude chill. we stole 18 hamburgers from her house
no. you cant fuck a burger.
He made a fake guest pass that was just a note card with "I'm here. Me." written in sharpie, and tried to convince the security guard it was real.
You need to tell him your pregnant or we need to stop playing doubles beer-pong. My liver is begging you.
This is the weirdest negotiation ever.
This is what happens when two people with zero shame try to argue.
I just don't understand how she's willing to go through so much planning and effort just to get a dick inside of her
i'm face down in a ditch right now please help this is not a metaphor for my life this is real.
Sorry I peed on your ottoman
my god I love twenty year old dicks
He gave us beer and shots and made us pizza in his brick oven before firing a handgun into the air to signal it was time to give us a ride in his inflatable raft to the bars.
He's like a mythological figure
The bartender remember my drink from last sat. I think we just became drocals...drunk. locals.
Randomize
